squirrels

Oh squirrels. The furry little tree hermits that eat various treats at the price of getting close enough to take a picture of the furry bastard. I think squirrels are cool, I respect them, and I have no major quarrel with them or any of their kind. However I hate squirrels from the city, because they're just as obnoxious as the people. How many squirrels have you been chased by people? In all seriousness I have been chased by a plethora of squirrels in my time on the streets of t.o. Now, even residents of this joyous merry city know that these viscous squirrels exist and, I assume, all held a meeting about avoiding these squirrels- and didn't encore me. However over time I have learnt the hard rules of life via trial and error ( very much so failure) and I have realized the common grounds: leave them alone and they'll consider not bothering you. Now, if visiting t.o. Then learn these squirrel freindly rules;

1. Don't go to public parks with food.

2. If you do have food, don't put it down.

3. Don't eat outside a resteraunt on a patio ( I bet you were wondering why they were so empty, it wasn't because of the smell)

4. If, by some act of insanity, you feed a squirrel in a park, make sure you bring enough food to escape alive from the rest of the evil squirrels.

5.never under any circumstance, ever chase a squirrel, they don't think it's funny and they probably have more friends that would stick up for him than you do.

6. dont move into apartments where your balcony is connecting toa tree, because that will become squirrel clan territory within minutes of taking a sandwhich out to enjoy a brisk summer evening.

7. keep up your moral, they can smell fear.

Now that you've learned the rules enjoy Toronto and all of it's wonders. Next week: homeless and how to protect yourself from them.